


Why Not?

by transdennisreynolds



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Threesome, super ooc @ the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-27 23:06:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6303712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transdennisreynolds/pseuds/transdennisreynolds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dennis convinces Mac to join him and his latest lay in a threesome. Mac has some reservations, but as Dennis always says, why miss out on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Not?

**Author's Note:**

> (pls forgive me for the phrases i used to describe vaginas.....)  
> so this is extremely ooc + doesnt make much sense but ive run out of motivation 2 finish this so take it as it is lmao

**DENNIS:**  Hey, um . . . I know this is a bit forward, but you seem like someone who’s up for a good time, so I’ll ask. Would you be interested in having a threesome with my roommate?

 **ALICE:**  Wow, uh . . . I don't know. Is she pretty?

 **DENNIS:**  She? Oh, no. This is a guy.

 **ALICE:**  A guy? Would he be up for it?

 **DENNIS:**  Oh, definitely.

 **ALICE:**  Then yeah, sure. I don’t see why not. Is he hot?

 **DENNIS:**  You tell me.

[DENNIS opens the door to reveal MAC lounging lazily on the couch with a half empty beer in hand, hair messy and his feet resting casually on the coffee table. _"The Hangover"_  is playing on low volume and MAC doesn’t lift his eyes up from the screen when he utters a gruff _"hey,"_  to the two in the doorway.]

 **ALICE:**  [whispering to DENNIS] Wow, yeah. I can see why you wanna—

 **DENNIS:**  [interrupting ALICE hurriedly] Hey Mac, I’ve got a proposition for you.

[MAC puts his beer down on the coffee table and slides his hands behind his head as he turns his attention to DENNIS and ALICE with a raised eyebrow]

 **DENNIS:**  First, though, how many beers’ve you had?

 **MAC:**  Almost two. Why?

 **DENNIS:**  ‘Cause it’s best that you’re sober when you consider what we’re offering.

 **MAC:**  Alright, well I am, so just ask whatever it is you wanna.

 **ALICE:**  [before DENNIS can open his mouth; sweetly] Would you wanna have a threesome with us?

 **MAC:**  [eyes wide, lowers his hands to his lap] What?

 **DENNIS:**  A threesome, Mac.

 **MAC:**  [gulps] I’m— Wow. [runs a hand through his hair] That sounds really great and all, but I’m gonna have to pass. [to ALICE] And I’m sorry, ‘cause you’re _super_ hot and I’d _love_ to jam with you, y’know, but I’m not— [pauses to choose his words carefully] feeling up to it right now. Maybe some other time?

 **DENNIS:**  [with faux concern] Really? Are you sure?

 **MAC:**  [not looking at DENNIS] Yeah, I’m probably just gonna go to bed.

 **ALICE:**  [slightly disappointed] Oh, okay. Have a good night, Mac.

 **MAC:**  [nervously] You too, Alice.

 

[Ten minutes have passed and MAC’s still sitting on the couch, not as focused on the movie in front of him as he was earlier as he mulls over the proposal.

He mumbles _" fuck it,"_  under his breath and gets up, running a hand through his hair before entering DENNIS’ room.

DENNIS is hovering over ALICE, kissing her neck messily when MAC walks in. He murmurs _“so you’ve decided to join us after all,"_  against her skin, causing ALICE to giggle. MAC says _“I didn’t wanna pass on the opportunity to sleep with a five-star girl,”_ and he unbuckles his belt, tossing it to the side.

The bed creaks when he hesitantly climbs up and DENNIS sits back to let him have a turn with ALICE. He unbuttons his dress shirt with a smirk, watching ALICE throw her head back and sigh as MAC sucks at her exposed collarbone. She whispers _“ hold on a sec; let me take off my top,”_ a second later and pulls her low-cut, form fitting t-shirt over her head, causing MAC to let out a low whistle at the sight of her lacy black bra hugging her notably sizable tits. He’d never admit it to himself, but he really admired wellmade lingerie.

After tossing her top to the side, ALICE grabs the hem of MAC’s sleeveless shirt and yanks it over his head. DENNIS has stripped down to his underwear and socks by now and leans forward to nip at the soft skin of ALICE’s breasts. She moans softly at DENNIS’ careful bites and runs her hand along MAC’s jaw before pulling him in for a kiss.

Somehow the three manage to get all of their clothing out of the way in between sloppy kisses and breathy moans. MAC’s leaning back on his haunches, stroking himself slowly as he watches with half-lidded eyes and his bottom lip between his teeth as DENNIS massages and licks ALICE’s nearly perfect tits. ALICE threads her hands through DENNIS’ short hair as he places a line of chaste kisses down along her stomach, his fingers rubbing lightly along her wet warmth.

DENNIS raises his head a second later, keeping a steady rhythm as he fingers ALICE, to murmur _“come over here,"_  to MAC. MAC obliges and repositions himself so that his knee is brushing ALICE’s hip and DENNIS darts his tongue across his lips. They hold eye contact for a moment before DENNIS brings his other hand up to MAC’s jaw, holding his cheek in his palm, and lurches forward, his mouth crashing against MAC’s.

Not much later does ALICE shift so that she’s on her knees with her own hand between her thighs, her mouth open slightly and face burning hot as she watches DENNIS push MAC backward onto the bed. DENNIS climbs on top of him and grabs MAC’s leaking cock as he runs his tongue along MAC’s flushed throat. MAC groans loudly, his nails digging into DENNIS’ shoulders, and ALICE’s breath hitches at the sight. DENNIS swipes his thumb across the slit and MAC arches his hips, whimpering at the sensation.]

 **MAC:**  Den, _please_ —

 **DENNIS:**  [making a soft shushing noise against soft skin of MAC’s neck] It’s alright, baby boy. I've got you.

[ALICE pretends she hadn’t just heard the weirdly intimate exchange and focuses her attention back to herself. She can feel the pressure in her stomach building; her hand’s movements quickening and breathy moans and sighs spilling freely from her mouth.

MAC’s dragging his nails down DENNIS’ back now and DENNIS has both their dicks in hand, adding to the heat and friction of it all. His lips are back on MAC’s and MAC’s moaning wordless pleas into his open mouth. ALICE, not wanting to finish just yet, moves her now slick fingers to their cocks, hoping to draw some of their attention back to her.

DENNIS sits up at her touch, then, and practically growls _“wait your turn,”_ before lowering his head and sucking at MAC’s bottom lip. She’s shocked and slightly offended at his sudden bout of aggression, but decides to stay silent instead of argue and leans back into the pillows to return to pleasuring herself with an irritated huff.

By now MAC’s panting “ _you’re so good, Den_ ” into DENNIS’ mouth as he bucks erratically into DENNIS’ tight grip. DENNIS mumbles _“that's it, baby . . . just let yourself go . . . come for me,”_ with a smirk as MAC’s thrusts become more urgent and the sounds spilling from his open mouth get louder. MAC climaxes a second later with a lengthy groan and a lopsided, blissed-out grin, shooting an impressive five short stripes of cum onto his chest and stomach.

DENNIS, looking like the cat who got the cream (appropriately so), runs a finger through a line and pops it into his mouth, sucking lewdly and making sure MAC can see. MAC swears under his breath at the display and reaches for DENNIS’ cock. DENNIS lurches away from the touch, though, to return his attention to ALICE.

He slips three fingers into her, rubbing at her inner walls, to test the water before lining his dick up with her entrance and pushing in slowly. He clenches his teeth as he bottoms out and keeps his eyes closed as he starts to thrust somewhat impatiently into her tight heat.

MAC’s still lying back against DENNIS’ bunched comforter, his arms over his face and cum on his torso. He can hear ALICE’s soft pleas as DENNIS practically rams into her and it’s making him sick to his stomach. He rolls over onto his side and buries his face in a pillow, trying to block out the scene beside him.

It only takes a minute or so for DENNIS to come, his body stiff and face blank as he shoots his load deep inside the panting woman below him. When he’s sure he’s finished, he pulls out and flops down next to MAC with a huff. ALICE sits up, confused and a bit frustrated at DENNIS’ finale, and asks _“that’s it? ”_ ]

 **DENNIS:**  Yeah, I mean if you didn’t finish that’s not my fault.

 **ALICE:**  Are you kidding? You didn’t even try to get me off!

 **DENNIS:**  So what? Sometimes it’s only the guy that gets off!

 **ALICE:**  So you’re done for tonight? Like you’re not even gonna try?

 **DENNIS:**  What are you talking about? I did try! I fingered you and shit!

 **ALICE:**  Unbelievable. [to MAC; clearly pissed] What about you over there, huh?

 **MAC:**  [pulls his knees to his chest and pulls the pillow over his ears]

 **ALICE:**  Fantastic. Waste of a Saturday, I swear . . .

 **DENNIS:**  You’re still here?

 **ALICE:**  Fuck you, prick! And fuck your wimpy boyfriend, too!

[She hurriedly jumps off the bed and pulls her clothes on, not bothering with her bra or fly. She slams the apartment door as she leaves, DENNIS rolling his eyes at her histrionics.]

 **DENNIS:**  [rummaging through his nightstand for a lighter and a cigarette; to MAC] Total bitch, am I right?

 **MAC:**  [barely audible, keeping his face hidden] Can you not talk right now?

 **DENNIS:**  Really? Come on, dude . . . Don’t get all mopey now. That was pretty good, wouldn’t you say? [lighting his cigarette, long drag] I mean aside from her tantrum at the end. [blowing the smoke out through his nose] Maybe three stars?

 **MAC:**  I really don’t care, Dennis. Just shut up, would you?

 **DENNIS:**  Is this about how I jerked you off?

 **MAC:**  [body tenses up; silent]

 **DENNIS:**  It’s not like it was gay sex, bro.

 **MAC:**  Just cause there was a chick doesn’t mean it wasn’t gay as shit! Our dicks were touching, bro! How is that not gay?! I’m so pissed at you, dude! I was totally ready to bang that chick and then you come in and kiss my neck and grab my dick and look at me like— [pause; gulp] It’s not fair, dude!

 **DENNIS:**  Think about it like this: if being gay wasn’t considered a sin, would you have enjoyed yourself more?

 **MAC:**  [turning over to face DENNIS] But it is a sin! I can’t have God thinking I’m queer!

 **DENNIS:**  Just . . . take a drag and breathe for a second. [passes MAC the cigarette; MAC takes a puff and coughs a bit, not used to tobacco] Now answer my question: if you weren’t all tied up about whether what we did was gay or not would you be freaking out like you are now?

 **MAC:**  [frustrated huff] I don’t get you, Den. You’re completely ignoring that I’m going straight to hell! The Bible said Adam and Eve, not gay is okay! I’m gonna end up eternally damned because of you and your dumb goddamn smile— [cuts himself off, realizing he’s said too much]

 **DENNIS:**  Oh, so it was my smile that dragged you down into temptation? My eyes? The soft kisses and sighs against your skin that made you lose yourself? [sitting up and dragging a finger along the path from MAC’s sternum to his belly button; smirking to himself as he notices MAC’s cock twitch at the memory]

 **MAC:**  [surprisingly staying still] You’re an asshole, Den.

 **DENNIS:**  Yeah, but you love me regardless. Now how about I show you what you’re missing by forgetting confession is always an option, huh?

 **MAC:**  [wide eyes, parted lips] Shit, I forgot about confession . . .

 **DENNIS:**  See what freaking out does? It clouds your—

 **MAC:**  Den, [takes DENNIS’ cigarette and puts it out in the nightstand ashtray] shut up and fuck me already.

**Author's Note:**

> (this is one of the laziest endings ive ever come up w but i needed some sort of conclusion)
> 
> this was the original guide i made 4 myself while writing this + tbh its a shit ton better:
> 
> dennis goes out w/ alice + asks her to stay the night  
> in the elevator/hallway he asks abt a threesome w/ mac  
> she’s hesitant @ first but agrees (bc she’s “down to earth” and “all abt a good time”)  
> dennis proposes the idea to mac  
> mac’s anxious + says no at first but joins in like 10 mins later  
> everything’s goin alright + reasonably hetero until dennis kisses mac  
> then they start makin out + alice is kinda like “ok”  
> she jacks off while watching them but gets uncomfortable when it starts gettin super intimate  
> mac comes just from a handjob + kinda lies there, regretting it  
> dennis finishes w/ alice + kicks her out (sometimes the woman doesn’t get off it’s not my fault)  
> dennis smokes while mac starts thinking aloud + calms him down  
> "we shouldnt have done this dude gods gonna think im confused"  
> "i mean i didnt even fucking touch her all that much hes gonna think im gay.."  
> they fall asleep together after dennis reassures him everything’s fine


End file.
